compassion

Mary Cassatt

Upon what thing beautiful shall my gaze alight? Something in a shallow place that is tempting and alluring? Where soon after a determined arrival, there is acute disappointment and an unsatisfied feeling of despair accompanied with an ugliness wrought from all things faded. I thought once the glimmer of the lonely moon which shone upon the path I walked to beautiful things was sufficient. In the end, I only found a light-hearted fool with a condescending laugh, making merriment at my poor expense. From what source does true beauty arise and please both the eye and the heart? Shallow is the dilemma of we who seek where vanity leads.
Yet time’s very nature and true essence feeds my confidence. If one bad moment is endured, soon a good moment shall follow. I found this untrue. For following the shallow host I first approached, there was a steep slope of sand and eroded granite so fascinating from afar but in reality bearing characteristic of a rude and tawdry fellow. He begs rest from weary seekers. I fruitlessly with unforeseen gullibility climb to reach him only to slip farther away from his outreaching hand. Temptation wishes company yet always taunts – just a bit out of reach.
I seek beauty to fill emptiness and I wonder if I might look deep into smooth onyx and find my reflection. Alas not! For Self-absorption is a narrow and egotistical one. I have seen the smirk of falsehood on the face of his invitation to self-gratification. Soon light turns to dark and beauty wrinkles and fades. Beauty is only skin deep, he lies.

Only if eyes seek beauty for the sake of self-satisfaction, I wonder…

Let my eyes fall upon the Lord. Return focus to Him. Gaze into His eyes for He always returns a welcoming light and a smiling heart. He shows me that beauty is not the shine of polished stone or the glimmer of the moonlight upon the still waters, but is the cry of your longing soul to meet with a compassionate spirit. It is seeing your vulnerable heart through a veil trying to conceal pain, but unable to, to the discerning eye. Beautiful is the soul that first shines and then urges the face to light up. The true beauty is a flame lit from the depths of the heart where only God has been to dust off things of old and reorganize things forgotten and unremembered. I have seen those things and cast the hurtful and malicious fragments of the past that attempt to carve me from the inside out, upon the shoulders of a willing Host.
The Spirit gives me eyes to see your truth and gives me motivation to ask if I should petition to God your needs over my own. How lovely your heart. I see you for what is inside where depth beyond shadows holds treasures of purity and unveiled light that is the beginning of time and the seed sown of God. Grow seed. Sprout and come to light and show life. Show that a torn veil reveals the inner room of your heart. Do not worry or fear, I am there and I will hold you forever.