He draws me nigh…

PSALM 91:1-6

1 He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.
3 Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence.
4 He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler.
5 Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day;
6 Nor for the pestilence that walketh in darkness; nor for the destruction that wasteth at noonday.

I ponder. Where do I place my soul? Where is my heart? God is not a banner I fly over my life, waved by me who is born-again by His grace. God is my life and in His sheltering shadow, I shall live. The Lord speaks deeply and sometimes complex to me . But never convoluted. His message will now shine brightly as I dive in and I will be closer in Him, by Him, in His shadow. He draws me into the feather of His protection.

I draw a conclusion: I hear His voice in my deepest communion and He draws me nearer. The relationship is deeper and more integrated, as a life rather than a label. I am His and as He sends forth instruction it is by no accident in the method, the tone, and the  complexity He uses. I am curious. One who is drawn in is usually drawn in by curiosity. But, because of my trust in Him, my curiosity has merit, purpose, and is far from fantasy. I enter into His realm and crane my neck to hear every detail of His instruction. He is speaking. The time is divinely appointed.

I fear nothing anymore. For the wicked evil that lurks in places I cannot see, and the blatant persecution in the light I am well aware of, is all shielded by Him as I stand in His shadow. He will deliver me from all vile things and His truth shall be my protection. Man cannot fight truth, he searches for truth always. His nature is to seek a deeper meaning as it fits his model of existence. I search to fit into God’s model for who am I but His creation? God pull and tugs, as a mare may nudge a colt in subtle correction. But, this correction is a touch of love and in God His correction is thus the same. A gentle nudge to draw me near. Draw me nigh…

I am obsessive, I admit. So, where do I draw the line between obsession and true immersion into God? I must choose not to analyse my psyche. I must trust here and now that surely as I write, I am hearing Him and if I am obsessive, obsession toward Him is good. Who am I to draw a line between obsession and passion. It is in passion where I feel conviction, in conviction my motives are clear, with clear motives, the path is serene and lucid as I see His face.

I fear not. I seek much. I can see myself with Him. We walk side-by-side. He says: “…you know, you were a little obsessive and your motives not always clear”.  He is my Father – This is how I see us talking. This He tells me. As I seek a deeper meaning He is glad to oblige me with deeper thoughts and instructions. I reel in the noise of those who equate passion with obsessiveness. It is a pestilence of which I must not be drawn to. He protects me with His truth. His truth will bring all man to his knees eventually.

So, I must place my soul and give my heart to Him in all fullness. I am not encountering, I am integrating. When I gave myself to Him, it was not casual. It was deep, true, and passionate. It is personal with Him. It is personal between me and His other children, it can be no other way. In this musing, I draw deeper. My conviction is clear. In His arms I am a new creation. As I bring this more up front in my walk, I should not marvel at those who scoff. It is all I am. Draw me nigh, Lord.

Rick Stassi

1/1/12

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