4 Show me Your ways, O Lord;
Teach me Your paths.
5 Lead me in Your truth and teach me,
For You are the God of my salvation;
On You I wait all the day.
Psalm 25 (NKJV)
Am I ever there yet? Where is there?
My life is good. I count the blessings bestowed by God and I feel good. I think of things yesterday that caused me angst, I see the very same all but forgotten today. I remember self-pity or maybe harsh words. In my heart, I was serious. Today all is new and forgotten – a wisp of burden floating to heaven. I am refreshed and born again. It is the unique ability to regenerate today yet retain all learned yesterday. Each day is a series of steps on a path the Lord unrolls before me like a velvet carpet. The steps of my life, the path of the Lord.
There is sadness in David’s psalmic voice. But there is reverence for God. Sadness is sometimes lamenting what I see as failure in my character. God sees no failure. I am a child of God. He lifts me beyond lament. The sound of my voice is really sincere praise.
Yesterday’s anxiety is all but forgotten. I remember how I worried. I sat with sweated palms and forehead and prayed. God spoke:
Have courage, you are my child
Trust me, you are my child
I am with you, my child
Worry evaporates like the mist of water on a hot surface. All to heaven. Isn’t is funny how steam rises like my burdens rise to heaven where Jesus accepts my small thorn. He adds it to His collection that circumvent His head. I am sorry Lord. I do not wish to hurt You. But He is reassuring. He has paid the price and His grace covers me. His pain is now in His heart and it is for those who are stepping daily on the path of the wicked. I can help You Lord. Tell me how I can be Your servant. Maybe I will remind the wicked of Your grace and salvation. It will ease Your grief. I believe this is Your way. Teach me how to be a servant.
Release my burden like the rising steam
Renewed and supple near Your stream
The thorns of my burdens scratch Your head,
But, it is Your heart that grieves the path of the dead.
I give myself to Your court. I pray to You with expectancy. I cast all hindrance. For I see the path You have laid before me and at times I just stand. It is as if I am at an intersection. Right or left? Your gentle hand takes mine and leads. “Come with me“, I hear You say. I follow and my heart melts. He is beside me. There is joy.
God is omniscient. He is with me and He is with you. His heart grieves for those who push away. I can help. I can plant a seed on the bank near the water that flows of Life. The soil is fertile and seeds quickly germinate. Roots take hold. The vine grows and He counts one more as His child. How grateful I am. This feeling of peace I feel this moment is authored by the same God that created all Life and everything there is before me under and beyond the Sun.
I wait on the Lord. Even as the both feet are on His path, I may not know how to proceed. I step forth with the instilled boldness and courage You give, Father. If I do not step out and meet Jesus, I may miss the wonders and teaching that lie on the road to Him. Sure, He is with me! He is everywhere. But there are times that command stepping out. The end to one means may not be the real end at all! In other words, I may seek out Jesus for one reason and in the walk toward Him, a lost lamb crosses my path and I divert attention to it. A different end from what I thought. My self is vanquished. I now have a different purpose, a good deed to do for God. I serve Him. The lamb bleats and grazes on the bank near the stream of the Living Water. How wonderful to help. Maybe I did. I hope. It suffices me to know He will tell me all my life in the Mercy Seat as my eyes meet His at last and He says: “Well done good and faithful servant“.
I dream, I lament, I pray. I seek to be reverent. Show me Your ways O Lord.
September 22, 2012